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That’s It, I’m Kicking Them Out

By Bill | September 23, 2008

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That’s right I’m kicking them out. I have had enough. For the past five years they have been with me 24/7 and I just feel that it is time for them to go. I’ve read about kids in France being allowed to stay longer, but just because my kids like french fries and crepes doesn’t make them French. I have heard that in some third world countries they don’t even get to stay near this long. If we lived in China it might be easier since I would probably only have one child, not two. It is honestly time to kick them out. It’s not that I don’t love my children. In fact I love them more than anything in the world. I just can’t take it any longer. I have to kick them out.

I have said before that being a single dad is one of the most rewarding experiences you could ever have. It has given me the opportunity to bond with my kids in so many ways (note last week’s blog). We as a family are closer than I could have ever wished for, but it’s time. I am going to kick them out. I hope for their sake that they stick together. I think that they will but if not, I will sleep well knowing that I have done all that I could, to prepare them for this moment.

We have talked about this before, so I really don’t think that it will come as a surprise to either one of them. If it does, then I will just do what every other successful parent would do, I’ll bribe them. That always works. Don’t kid yourselves; we have all bribed our kids at one time or another. “If you behave in church we will go have ice cream afterwards” or, “Get good grades and I will buy you something special”. Heck parents have been bribing kids since the day they were born. Why not now? If I need to bribe my kids one last time then so be it. I’m kicking them out.

After all these years of caring for them, being there for them and loving them I have just decided that my space is more important to me than it is to them. I am sure that they will be ok. They have dealt with adversity before and come through it beautifully. Why am I to believe that this is going be any different? There is an old saying “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime”. I have given them more than enough fish over the past few years, let alone bikes, toys, video games, trips, parties and rides. Oh, and don’t forget about the unconditional love, respect, education, clothes, and MONEY. They need to spread their wings and fly away. It is time to kick them out.

Tonight I am going to do it. All they really need are their towels, tooth brushes, combs, shampoo, lotions and soaps. After all, their bathroom is just down the hall. You didn’t really think I meant the house did you? Wow you did! You see, my kids have preferred my much larger bath to their kid size bath for sometime now, and I have allowed it. I can’t say that I blame them but then again I can’t say that don’t. One thing that I have learned as a single dad is that we all need our own space. For my kids, that space just got a little smaller.

Oh and by the way, the new shower heads that I bribed them with should be here any day now. Thank God….

Topics: General, How to Communicate with Your Kids | 10 Comments »

10 Responses to “That’s It, I’m Kicking Them Out”

  1. tabitha Says:
    September 23rd, 2008 at 6:48 am

    you go Bill!!

  2. JAG Says:
    September 23rd, 2008 at 7:37 am

    scarey there for a while!!!! great article………

  3. Z Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 5:41 am

    Parents have more space/time issues than Einstein could ever resolve.

  4. gdad Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 5:50 am

    Here! Here!

  5. Mark Lind Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 6:23 am

    Billy, had me going there for a minute, was trying to picture the kid’s looking in through the window’s like orphan’s. The shower head should be just the bribe you are looking for.

  6. Candy Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 6:33 am

    First and foremost, you are a wonderful dad. I really appreciate your blogs and sharing your life. I truly hope more dads read this and realize it is ok to “be there” for your children. Not just help put a roof over there head but really be there. My father was never there for me and I still do not have a relationship with him. He will never realize how much I love him because of his stubborn ways. Your kids are extremely fortunate. I know they know that. You can see it when they are with you. It brings tears to my eyes to feel your love through these blogs. Thanks Bill! Many blessings!

  7. Mike Silverberg Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 11:29 am

    Yep, guilty of bribes… I try to use love and logic choices and consequences, but I get tired of offering choices and negotiating and often fall back to old school “because I said so” then my daughter gets upset and my wife laughs at me. Bonnie Brea Ice Cream is our top bribe/consequence tool.

  8. Deb Ogborn Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 6:05 pm

    The kids haven’t used their shower in about 2 years! If you figure out the cure for this, let us know. Thanks for sharing.

  9. Chrissy Lundquist Says:
    September 26th, 2008 at 3:18 am

    I Knew there had to be a twist so I cheated and skimmed to the end to restore my confidence! I enjoyed it! Thanks Bob.

  10. Marta the Silver Stork Says:
    September 29th, 2008 at 10:13 am

    Bill,
    The voice you speak with of as a single father is one that is ‘music’ to my mom ears. Hooray to you for being real, embracing fatherhood and launching this great Dad resource!! love this entry!
    -Marta Loeb

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