“I’m Mad as Hell”
By Bill | January 5, 2009
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I know that I shouldn’t be, but I am. I have tried to hold it in, but I can’t “I Am Mad as Hell”. There really shouldn’t be a reason for it. I just finished my first radio show on www.wsradio.com. It was fun, exciting, chaotic and hopefully informative. Who knows if anyone really listened? I would like to believe that someone beside my family did, but I am not sure. But that’s not what’s making me mad. Something else has me, “Mad as Hell”.
It’s a new year filled with hopes and dreams. Good riddance to 2008. I am sure that the economy and the stock market made many of you mad, but that’s not what’s making me, “Mad as Hell”.
My kids just returned from their annual winter trip to Montana. They visited their cousins, grandparent’s aunts and uncles. It is the one week each year that I am free to do what I wish, with no parental responsibility. Fifty one weeks on the job, one week off. But that is not what’s making me “Mad as Hell”.
I’ll tell you right now that I have almost eight million reasons to be “Mad as Hell”. I have always known that the US Census Bureau reports there are over 2.5 million single dads in this country. I have also known that many of those dads are proud of who they are. They are raising, guiding and leading their children in the right direction. I have also always had a deep respect for the 10.4 million single mothers in this country. After all single parenting is single parenting, regardless of gender. But what has made me so mad is the fact that I finally did the math.
Allow me to recap for you. 10.4 single mothers and 2.5 million single fathers. I am officially “Mad as Hell”. Why you ask? Do the math. I am not the smartest guy in the world but I learned along time ago that it takes a male and a female to have a child. Now do you get it? If there are 10.4 million single mothers and 2.5 million single dads where the hell did the other 7.9 million dads go to? Why did they not list on their census that they were a father? Ok I will grant you that some of them may have gotten re-married, some unfortunately may not be aware that they are a father, and some may only see their kids occasionally, but come on 7.9 million of them?
I am very proud to be a contributing, loving and involved single dad. I am also very proud of the other 12.9 million single parents in this country who go through difficult times and make great sacrifices for their children. What I have no respect for are those dads out there who don’t accept their responsibilities as a parent. The 7.9 million dads who make the rest of us look bad. The 7.9 million dead beat dads. The 7.9 million selfish, self centered and shallow men, who are the fathers of children, just like yours and mine. These are the ones who make me “Mad as Hell”.
The more that I think about it, I have every reason to be “Mad as Hell”. But then again why should I be? Why should I spend more time on these dads, than they are willing to spend on their own children? You know the more I think about it I don’t have 7.9 million reasons to be mad, I have 12.9 million reasons to be “Happy as Hell”. May 2009 is the happiest year of your life.
“Anybody Can Be a Father, It Takes a Special Person to Be a Dad”
Topics: General | 5 Comments »
January 15th, 2009 at 1:22 am
Hi Bill,
I am one of those 10 million plus single moms, who happens to be very proud of what you are doing. I am so blessed to have 7 year old twin daughters, I thank God every day for them. I didn’t think I would be a single mom at 40, but things happen. It was a nice feeling, knowing I got to read the BLOG of a “DAD,” not just a father, but a “DAD.” Keep writing, you have us all reading and waiting for more. I’m so glad I found your blog this evening.
Take care and God Bless,
Debbie
January 15th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Thanks Debbie. Life is funny how it throws you a curve ball every once in awhile. It is great to know that you will have no problem hitting each curve life throws you with such a great attitude.
January 17th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Hello Bill. I admire your ability to hang in there for your kids. My last girlfriend had 2 7 year old daughters. However, our relationship only lasted 3 months and ended on December 29, 2008. I can’t tell you how heart breaking it is to me. The reason for this is, because I failed them. But please understand that this was a long distance relationship and it was extremely hard hearing her cry on the phone to me and I powerless to be anymore than someone who could only listen. She of course is a single mom and I had not had kids before so I did not quite know what to expect. She is of course going to be the last girlfriend I will ever have because I can’t feel as though I am worth anything these days. I do believe though she is choosing to be a single mom because she has since cut off all communication with me. But, I can say that her and the girls will always have my heart. See, it is not always that we choose to be a dead beat dad. It is sometimes that the parent becomes so strong that we feel as though we are not helping at all.
January 17th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
John hang in there. It is OK to feel this way as long as you are willing to work at feeling happy again. There is an old saying that “You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf”. There is a great article on this site under the “Depressed, sad, confused its Ok” section. It is titled “Are you carrying emotional baggage”. Please take a look at it. I wish you all the best
September 10th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
San Francisco, CA
Single Moms On Facebook And MySpace Warned About Pre-Schooler Pix Online —
“Single mothers who put photos of their pre-school kids on their social networking homepages are creating a happy hunting ground for pedophiles.”
The warning comes from Crystal Jacquez, managing editor of Guys and Lies.com, the online back grounding site designed for women.
“Single mothers almost always do it.” says, Jacquez. “It’s not only incredibly dangerous but worse, most single moms have absolutely no idea that it’s dangerous at all!”
“Think of it,” continues Jacquez, “if you’re one of the tens of thousands of pedophiles with a taste for really young kids, how do you get to them? Children under five or six are just too young to be online.
“So what does this most dangerous form of pedophiles do?” asks Jacquez, “He surfs social networking sites looking for the pages of young single mothers.
Literally, millions of single moms are now on social networks like Facebook and MySpace — and almost all of them proudly show off photos of their kids on their homepages and profiles.
So if you’re a pedophile stalking preschoolers, half an hour of searching out single mothers on social sites and you’ve got a dozen lush candidates – photos and all – just a few key strokes away”.
Not only that, but these predators know that these kids are often protected only by lonely, vulnerable women — women who are looking for men who they hope love children. WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY! It’s a pedophile’s dream!
Read this excerpt from a report in the journal American Psychologist, published by the American Psychological Association, regarding pedophiles stalking pre-schoolers on the internet:
“Finding prepubescent victims directly (on the Internet) is quite rare; such offenders use the Internet in other ways. Pedophiles typically get access to preschool victims through online contact with parents”
“If you have pictures of your child on line,” says Jacquez, “don’t be too surprised to get a message like the following from some nice sounding guy”:
“Hey! I just saw your profile on Facebook and you are one great looking lady — and that little girl of yours is just marvelous looking! She looks so bright etc. etc. etc!”
“You’re going to have a new best friend very soon,” she says. “Count on it!”
Who hasn’t heard of Lolita, one of the most famous books in America, in which the pedophile gets access to the prepubescent daughter by courting her divorced mother. You can still see the movie on cable TV with James Mason and Shelley Winters as the grown-ups and Sue Lyon as Lolita.?
Jacquez also cites the following statistic from: Offender Characteristics, U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics re. Victim-offender relationships in sexual assault regarding who sexually assaults children under 6 years old.
Who assaults children under 6 years old:
Trusted family members: 48.6%
Strangers: 3.1%
Trusted family acquaintances: 48.3%
“If a pedophile targets your child’s photo on your homepage, trust us,” says Jacquez, “they’ll become a ‘trusted family acquaintance’ soon enough.
“Don’t close down your social network homepages” Jacquez says. “Just get those photos of your kids off them!”
“One thing more thing,” says Jacquez, “when you meet a new guy online, check him out immediately with us at Guys and Lies.com (www.guysandlies.com). Our site is free and was built in order to empower women to check out the backgrounds of guys that they meet online.
“First, check our Child Molesters Section where we access the photos and home addresses of over 360,000 registered sex offenders. Then check him out in our Criminal Records Section. Then check to see if he’s using a phony name. After that, check out all his claims about his background. “There is no way,” she says, “that you can be too careful.”
Guys and Lies also has a special page on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/guysandlies, and on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/guysandlies.
Jacquez asks you to please forward this article to single moms you know who have their kid’s photos online..
Contact:
Crystal Jacquez, managing editor
Guys and Lies.com
415 678-8610
crystal@guysandlies.com
http://www.guysandlies.com